I have a plan.

July 14, 2014

Monday

10:13PM

I can't focus any more. 

I feel as though my nerves are rising through my skin. 

You've invaded every thought I ever made.

Why can't you just be REAL? 

Where are all your bones and cells and skin?

I feel your spirit everywhere I go,

But why not your flesh?

Why not you?

The ache of loneliness is bitter, 

Tasting like the sea of dead dreams,

And broken things never meant to be fixed.

You are a wretched soul. 

A duet of all that mocks my heart.

The very heart I'll always wish belonged to you.

But why stop there?

Why not make a list of all the things,

I wished were yours

But remain mine, still.

Like, my cells, to begin.

My perfectly lonely cells. 

And next my eyes,
The eyes of a secluded dreamer.
What now?
The lips of a clouded fantasist?
The soul with the love of all the lovers ever denied?
No, I'm wholly stronger than I look.
The armor of the cloistered rests upon me now. 
Give your heart to someone else.
I don't want a heart in love with something contrastive to my own.
But don't fret for me, 
As I know you never will. 
I have a plan, 
I've got a globe at my fragile finger tips. 
I have a heart untainted from the world.
For all we know a heart untouched is a heart well broken, 
But the heart well dissembled is the strongest one of all.
So save your lips.
Touch nothing close to me.
Soon sparks will fly. 
Though, not for me. 
Never for me. 
For I have a plan.
(k.b.)