"All i ask is that you leave me and my heart alone. 

Is that so hard to ask?"

I watched as his eyes closed ever so slowly and

 then softly he choked, "Yes. Yes it is." 

(k.b.)

November 26, 2013

Okay.

 HELLO WORLD! Forgive me for taking so long to post on my blog (I am well aware it has been over a month) but I am here to update you now on my CRAZY, ECLECTIC LIFE. So, for starters, I am working on this new goal to read around four novels a MONTH and so far it is going great. (And this may or may not have been started because of a school assignment, but either way IT IS A GOOD GOAL AND I AM DETERMINED TO SEE IT THROUGH.) I have finished two so far and am in the middle of one right now. The two I have finished, cover to cover, are: The Fault in our Stars by: John Green and Edenbrooke by: Julianne Donaldson. I must admit, I have read Edenbrooke two or three times now--as it is an everlasting favorite of mine-- and I cannot seem to get enough of it! As for The Fault in our Stars, that was a first for me. I had heard endless feedback for it and simply had to read it and so I forced Mom to take me to Costco and purchase the book and I read it in the space of 3 days! As hyped up as it was made to be I merely concluded that I liked it, but I did not love it. I found it very interesting and quite eye-opening specifically in the nasty world of cancer and how dolled up it can seem to be when people write love stories involving cancer, but this story was very real and grossly detailed about it and all the horrors it brings. And as strange as this sounds, I found that a bit comforting to know how real the author was and how realistic he was about love and life and dreams. If you have ever read The Fault in our Stars, you will find that Hazel Grace (the protagonist) is often a bit cynical and is lead to different beliefs on life and how it will be when we all pass from rhythmic breathing to a quiet heart beat once and for all. I also found the novel very refreshing on how unique all the characters are and especially loved Augustus Waters' "cigarette analogy". As sad as the story turned out to be--it was real. Every bit of it was real, relatable (to a certain degree) and lovable. You, I, couldn't help but fall in love with that crazy Augustus Waters and that emotional Isaac/The Blind Kid. From page to page, or cover to cover,the story was different, new and touching in a strange and creative way and I liked it even more for that. Most people who read The Fault in our Stars will simply see a love story, but I saw much, much more. I saw that dreams-- as beautiful as they are--never turn out the way we first perceive them to be. I saw that some love we feel is not always everlasting and isn't meant to be no matter how powerful it can be. But I mostly saw that life is like a changing current that you cannot control no matter how hard you try. And this current, the current of life, will drag you, pull you, push you, carry you, and sometimes drown you; but it is always up to you if you will let it pull you under or if you will choose to float along and live your live the best you can. The Fault in our Stars was a great book and I don't regret to say I finished that strange and inspiring novel.

"My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations."
-John Green
The Fault In Our Stars

An email to a Wonderful Author...

Dear Julianne Donaldson, 

My name is Kiersten Benson. I am sixteen, almost seventeen years old, and I am writing to you to let you know that you inspired me. Upon reading your phenomenal book, Edenbrooke, to be precise, I was simply captivated with every page I turned and every chapter I finished. The writing was beautiful. The emotion was real. And every sentence I read was like drinking a powerful elixir or drug I couldn't get enough of! Your story was so intriguing to me that when I found myself bitterly yet sweetly finished with that book--I wanted more. I needed more. And so I silently hoped and wished you'd write a second book and it wasn't until a few months after reading Edenbrooke that I found it! It was an overcast day and the little Deseret bookshop was snuggled beneath weeping clouds and my mother and I found refuge inside it quickly and as I wandered down the isles of books I found a quaint little book that looked remarkably alike to the book I'd fallen in love with just a few months before. I read the back of the book, stroked its spine and nearly fell over once I found out it was written by the same author of the book that had captivated me so fiercely! The moment it was purchased, I read it page to page to page and then I let it sink in deeply to the point where tears welled up inside my eyes and I found another book that I had fallen deeply, passionately and irrevocably in love with. I remember staying up until three o'clock in the morning unwilling to put it down until I finished even though school called early in the morning! I didn't care because that was the moment I lived for. The book had ensnared me and I was a happy captive to it. And so, a few months passed and I let the books sit for a while until I felt the need to dust them off and let them stretch away from my stuffy bookshelf and then it happened again. I felt that magic again and I found myself doing something I used to look down upon--I wrote in that book. I marked my favorite passages, wrote notes to the side and discovered myself reflecting deeply on the chapters and aching as much as these two lovely protagonists did because I related to them so greatly and the way you described every little detail made me feel as if I was apart of the story; I was the protagonist. And so it is, I am deeply in love with your books and I wanted to write this message to you to enlighten you as to how much you truly inspired me. Page 250, p.4, Ch.36 "It was not Mozart. It was not like Mozart at all. These notes were not obedient little soldiers marching in their proper ranks. These notes were wild things that flew like rooks above a crumbling tower. My inner demon recognized this music as the dark, unleashed thing it was. And after an hour of playing, my inner demon had whipped itself into a fury. It flew into the banished corners of my soul and swept up the accumulated grief and frustration and anger of years. It whipped it all into a torrent until tears streamed down my face while my fingers flew across the keys. And my inner demon told me I must fly. It told me I must make a choice now or else I would always feel caged and helpless and powerless and small. I listened to my demon and my heart, until the fury and the torrent had gathered itself into a great surge of courage. Then I stopped playing, picked up the music, and ran from the room." I remember tears tickling my eyelashes at that point in the book, as it was only my second time reading the book, and I simply couldn't resist writing about it right away. I grabbed my journal and wrote these words, "I loved that paragraph so adoringly and so passionately because I felt like all her beautiful words could all escape from my own lips and my own soul. They pierced me in such a way and so deeply as I read them and I felt tears surface briefly to my eyes that threatened to escape, but I tried my best to hold them in...The entire book, as well as Edenbrooke, is just written so beautifully and is so emotionally connecting, you can't help but fall totally, irrevocably in love with it! Right now, it's on my to-do list to email Julianne Donaldson and praise her for her work! My goal as a future writer is to write as beautifully and descriptive as she does!" And then the last words I wrote were: "Long live Julianne Donaldson." I know it sounds a little crazy, but I really want you to know that I find  you as one of my role models I wish to be like when I become a writer in the near future! Your works are not only brilliant, but are pure, clean and intricate. There is two stories to a story you write: There is the one that most people see as a love story and there is the other that few see as a triumph story of so much more than winning a heart. In both the novels you published you portrayed similar but separate protagonists that both secretly ached for freedom. They found it in different ways and through battling different dragons of their own, but both won so much in the end and both found themselves as the real prize they always wanted--to be loved for who they are, not who they had. Reading those books was like discovering a locked box of treasures and jewels you know are in there but never actually see them until you find the key and truly understand the moral behind the story. Look, I know this message is long but I have to tell you that your books are in one word: Outstanding. Please, continue to write and inspire all around you. I know that I can be as good as you someday because I have been inspired. 

Thank you for the gift of inspiration. I will tell you, it is the greatest gift a person can give. 

With hopes for the future!

-- 

--Kiersten P. Benson

Eagle Mountain, Utah. 

Age: 17

Post Script. One more thing, do you think Edenbrooke will become a movie someday? I truly, deeply hope it does and when it does--you know who will be front and center in the theater thirsty for more! 

(Oh and also, I think James McAvoy is a PERFECT choice for Phillip, but that's just my thoughts.)

OH! And if you are ever curious, I am no writer yet, but I am that of a work in progress! Here's my blog: kierstybee.blogspot.