Tuesday, July 29, 2014

The Rain brings Life

July 29, 2014
1:13PM
Tuesday
The Day Of Life



Then, the battle cry sounds, 
The earth begins to rumble.
Tears,  
And blood, 
And chill. 
Silence from the flowers.

A cloak of clouds,
Swirl like a stew. 
They mix 
And mix
And embrace.
Warm against
Cold, 
Cold against 
Warm. 
Fighting for
Domination.

Trees begin to 
Dance. 
Birds escape in fear. 
Plants and 
Tears
And worry 
Remain.

She, the brave 
And stupid,
Sits in deep
Curiosity.
Her hands scrawl. 
Her soul
Bleeds. 
Her eyes are always
Heavenward.

Then howling, raging wind, 
The messenger of the King.
Battle 
And slash, and slice and slant.

She runs through a curtain, 
A threshold dared to cross, 
And finds a curious 
Dance compeer. 
He is bright, and
Sweet. 
He longs to kiss her,
Slowly. 
And then they dance.

The rain now slows. 
It almost stops. 
Almost.
Quiet and 
Slumberous 
And sweet.

She finds herself in words. 
She scribbles until
It only patters. 
She is found.
Joyous, she 
Remains.

The rain always brings life. 

(k.b.) 



Monday, July 28, 2014

Lyrics That Really Get Me:



When I was young, I had a lover
But she died one day
So i'll never love another
No, i'll never love another the same
But I see her in the sky
Near that riverbend
She's the moon, she is dressed in white
Oh night, don't end
No, oh

I am growing old
and my knees are growing weak
I miss the one I loved when I was young
She's the only one for me
oooh, ohhh
oooh, ohhh

With my worm's eye view
Oh, I'm looking up to you
Praying with your bird's eye, you're looking at me too
I will make my way
Over to the great plains
'Cause next to you, I see heaven's gates
So night, don't end
No, night, no

I am growing old
and my knees are growing weak
I miss the one I loved when I was young
She's the only one for me
oooh, ohhh
oooh, ohhh

I am growing old
and my knees are growing weak
I miss the one I loved when I was young
She's the only one for me
oooh, ohhh
oooh, ohhh

I will run
'Cause the morning brings the sun
and I will lose you when the night is done
Oh, I will run
'Cause the morning brings the sun
and I will lose you when the night is done, when the night is done

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

I have a plan.

July 14, 2014
Monday
10:13PM

I can't focus any more. 
I feel as though my nerves are rising through my skin. 
You've invaded every thought I ever made.
Why can't you just be REAL? 
Where are all your bones and cells and skin?
I feel your spirit everywhere I go,
But why not your flesh?
Why not you?
The ache of loneliness is bitter, 
Tasting like the sea of dead dreams,
And broken things never meant to be fixed.
You are a wretched soul. 
A duet of all that mocks my heart.
The very heart I'll always wish belonged to you.
But why stop there?
Why not make a list of all the things,
I wished were yours
But remain mine, still.
Like, my cells, to begin.
My perfectly lonely cells. 
And next my eyes,
The eyes of a secluded dreamer.
What now?
The lips of a clouded fantasist?
The soul with the love of all the lovers ever denied?
No, I'm wholly stronger than I look.
The armor of the cloistered rests upon me now. 
Give your heart to someone else.
I don't want a heart in love with something contrastive to my own.
But don't fret for me, 
As I know you never will. 
I have a plan, 
I've got a globe at my fragile finger tips. 
I have a heart untainted from the world.
For all we know a heart untouched is a heart well broken, 
But the heart well dissembled is the strongest one of all.
So save your lips.
Touch nothing close to me.
Soon sparks will fly. 
Though, not for me. 
Never for me. 
For I have a plan.
(k.b.)



Saturday, July 12, 2014

An email from Europe


Mikayla Dunn





"Oh my darling, beautiful writer, gorgeous haired, brilliant minded bff"
"...I hope you know how much I truly am appreciating this adventure. I am trying to take it all in and enjoy it because I don't know if it will ever happen again. I wish you were here to experience this culture and all it has to offer. It is just beautiful. But even while I'm in this wonderful country, I do miss our home town and the beauty it holds. I miss the relaxed vibes and the familiarity and you, of course. I have learned that you can find beauty wherever you are and in any situation. The beauty in Austria and our home tome are very very different but they share many similarities as well. They both have their own attractiveness in appearance and in the feeling you get when you are there. The feeling of being at home is the same in both countries. Europe is an absolute paradise and the craziest thing to me is that people actually live here! They have homes, family, friends, stores, car dealerships, banks, everything that you need, but they live in EUROPE! It's such a dream to us as Americans but then again, America is foreign and beautiful to Europeans. It's just amazing that life goes on the same even on opposite sides of the world and although the culture and customs are different, it is very much the same." 
AHHH I'm so sorry I don't receive text messages over here! I would have loved getting that from you, but I love it just the same even if it is in a different form. By the way, I appreciate the email you sent more than you know. It put such a big smile on my face seeing that I had an email from you! 

Oh puhleez miss kiersten.. Do you really think I would travel halfway across the world for 3 weeks and not being anything back for my bestfriend? HA. The struggle is not IF it's WHAT to get you. I want to find something that will have heart and meaning and something you will be able to treasure, but don't even worry about it, it's going to be perfect. ❤️

Okay now I have some questions for YOU!

- Are you excited for EFY? 
- How was Oregon?
- Have you read any good books lately?
- Have you discovered any new music?
- How does it feel having Sarah home?!
- What is still on tour bucketlist to do this Summer?
- Have you been spending all your time in your dreamy hammock in the trees?
- How's nimbus?
- Have you changed your room at all?
- Is there anything specific you would like me to get your from here?
- How many times have you read the HP books while I've been gone?
- Are you excited for SENIOR YEAR?
- Do you have any new insight about life?

I hope these questions will give you a little something to write about in your returning email!

I love and miss you so much KB and hope you are getting everything out of life that you want. You are a beautiful daughter of God with so much potential in life and I hope you never forget that! 

I can't wait to get home and see you!

Love you lil shawty 
Xoxoxo
Mikfly ❤️



Kiersten Benson 




July12, 2014
Saturday
5:45PM 
On a cloudy, yet windy day
Dearest Darlingest Brightest Mikfly,
"...moving on forward with this letter, I must say you have surprised me in the greatest sense with your beautiful words that have touched me so! All your emotions, all your depth--it is hauntingly stirring. I especially loved your insight on how strange you find it that people's lives are just as normal to them as it is to us here but over there! (If that even made the slightest sense, let me know. That was kind of a dreadfully confusing sentence) But all in all, your words, your blog and YOU are so prepossessing I cannot even handle it!! I'm so proud and feel as though I can already see the change inside you, the only kind of change that comes from traveling to far off places you've never seen before! There is a quote I dearly love and is one of the only few I keep saved on my phone to remind me that my dreams will soon become a reality. It is by a man named Henry Rollins, who by the way, is an American musician, writer, journalist, publisher, actor, radio host, spoken word artist, and activist, who said, "I beg young people to travel. If you don't have a passport, get one. Take a summer (as you are doing now!) get a backpack and go to Delhi, go to Saigon, go to Bangkok, go to Kenya. Have your mind blown, eat interesting food, dig some interesting people, have an adventure, be careful. Come back and you're going to see your country differently, you're going to see your president differently no matter who it is. Music, culture, food, water. Your showers will become shorter. Your'e going to get a sense of what globalization looks like. It's not what Tom Friedman writes about (who is an American journalist, columnist and author, by the way.) I'm sorry. You're going to see that global climate change is very real. And that for some people, their day consists of walking 12 miles for four buckets of water. And so there are lessons that you can't get out of a book that are waiting for you at the other end of that flight. A lot of people-- Americans and Europeans-- come back and go, "ohhhhh" And then the lightbulb goes on." 
You see? Traveling changes you. No matter where you go; it's inevitable.  So I'm happy for you. I am so incredibly, overwhelminglyhappy for you! (Also, I don't know why the spacing is all weird now, but I apologize as I am unable to fix it...)
But now, to answer your questions...
--Yes, I am excited for EFY, but to be honest I am a bit scared. Boys+Me=Nervous breakdown. Attractive Boys+Me= Dead, nervous breakdown and then dead again. Yep...let's just say this shall be interesting...


--Oregon was INCREDIBLE! I wish I could tell you everything in this letter but I don't even know where to begin and I feel as though it is a conversation better left face-to-face, if you know what I mean? But I will tell you, it really changed me and my views on myself, people and this gospel--all for the better! I loved the ocean more than I ever dreamed possible and l already long to be at it's strangely beautifully, strangely cryptic side. There was rain, incredible hikes, downtown Portland was too much to fathom--the people were crazier than expected and every one SMOKED. I kid you not, there was a cigarette between every eclectic finger down the street. And. OH. MY. There is this bookstore that is an ENTIRE BLOCK! Can you imagine? Books and books and BOOKS EVERYWHERE. It is heaven I tell you. I bought a gorgeous journal there as I just recently finished my other one and there also is this ice cream parlor called "The Salt & Straw" that served the strangest ice cream flavors EVER! There were no normal flavors--none. There was everything from Balsamic Vingerette to Blue Cheese to Lavender! It was incredible!  Flowers grow everywhere (and I mean everywhere, even on the streets!) and muggy, rainy, humid air is just as normal as forests by the highways and small quaint, adorable beach towns literally on the beach. And apparently the "Goonies" was filmed on one of the beaches we went to, while another one we went to required a small but definitely worth it hike/walk to it! It's called "Smuggler's Cove" and seriously no one was there, but I loved that. I loved sharing my beach with no one but the colossal waves and the chipping barnacle. I even held star fish and poked alive sea creatures and clambered over barnacle and raced along the shore in the pouring rain. I'm telling you, Oregon is where I'm meant to visit again. It has my name written ALL over it! Anyway, I'll tell you more later, but I loved it. LOVED IT.
--Good books? I read Edenbrook AND Blackmoore by: Julianne Donaldson AGAIN and can hesitantly admit I stayed up 'til three in the morning to finish it even though I know the ending by heart and even confess to bawling without shame. I love those dear books. In a way they both symbolize me, I don't know how, but they do. I love them. I could read them over and over and never tire of their story. They are like good songs to me, they mean something and I'll always remember them. I also started the Harry Potter series again and am falling in love with them all over again too. Life is always good when you read a good book. Always.
--New Music: "Atlas Hands" by: Benjamin Francis Leftwhich-- Currently always on my mind...I love it more than life. "Bloom", "Featherstone", or "Woodland" by: The Paper Kites-- They call my name and surely yours. And "Wait" by: M83--It was my Oregon Jam and it's simple and therefore beautiful. Oh also, "Letting Go" by: Saint Raymond. (Enough said there.) Just listen.  
--Having Sarah home? Better than eating Lindor Chocolate--and that is saying something! She is happy and funny and does not have the slightest inclination to force us to listen to MOTAB or watch missionary movies or anything like that which is a relief to me as I, admittedly, am not too fond of those two particular things. She met a cute guy and they have seen each other alot but she is also is dating around and I can't wait until marriage (hahahahahahaha) call me crazy but I WANNA BE AN AUNT. But, its great. I love it. It feels like she never even left! 
--Bucketlist: WHO EVEN KNOWS! Aren't you the one who has it anyway? Hahaha well, it's a mystery to me!
--Dream Hammock? You bet. But not as much as I should...Life has been occupied, but lived. Always lived. 
--Nimbus? Still alive. (Surprisingly)
--Souvenir advice? Something small, free and meaningful. I'll leave it up to you young miss. I'd trust you with my life. :) (But if you really need help, I do collect buttons but really, anything will be gratified and cherished.)
--Have I changed my room? Well, yes! My room is a room of many things but above all it is always a room subjected to change! I hung some postage letters on twine, gave away my 1D poster that once hung in my closet to my little cousins and created an Oregon collage on the side of my desk. What can I say? I admire change more than spells.
--How many times did I read HP? Only once. But the movies on the other hand....not so lonely.
--Am I excited for senior year? YES! I am finally taking classes I want and I can hardly wait to get into my english classes and all my art classes and yearbook and I can tell it will be a great last year. Yes, I am excited.
--New insight about life? You had to ask this? Alright, here it goes...(just remember, you asked, not me) I have discovered from all the things that have happened to me over this summer, as summer always is a season for change inside me, that life is nothing more than a changing drift of wind. Sometimes, this wind will carry, carry you to most remarkable places. But sometimes it has others ideas and it pushes

you and caresses you and excites you. But the key to mastering its unpredictable and unchangeable spirit is--to go with it.  The only thing you can control is your reaction and you. The only thing you can trust is your God. And the only person you can look up to that will never ever let you down is Christ, your Savior. You asked if my insight on life has changed and my answer is, yes. It always grows therefore it is always susceptible to change. Most people, when they hear the world 'change' cringe, or shrink or get angry thinking, "Why should I change? Change isn't good! It only causes ruckus." False, change is what shapes us. The very matter we are made of, even the matter of the stars, is created by change; constant and incomprehensible change. I believe that every day you learn something, every month you pass by and every hour you spend living, you are changing. You are growing, moving forward and expanding everything. Change is life and my life is beautiful. That is what I believe. 
I know that this email is long and for that I say, "Sorry-but-not-sorry" and hope you feel inspired in some way. But now, some questions for YOU:
  1. What is the best thing you've tasted on your journey to the bella terra? (beautiful land)
  2. What do you ache for most at this very moment?
  3. Have you found a "home a way from home" whilst traveling the other side of the earth?
  4. Could you describe the day to me from where ever you are?
  5. How's your mother doing? Your family too?
  6. Are your relatives over there crazy like you? ;)
  7. What is the strangest thing someone has said or done to you over there?
  8. Favorite souvenir you've bought so far? 
  9. Are YOU excited for JUNIOR YEAR? 
  10. Do you have a new insight on life? (This really is the only question that means a lot t to me. I'm dying to hear what you'll say!)
Well I hope these questions help your next email and I'm sorry it took so long to send off as it is now 10:55PM and the moon was HUGE last night by the way! Did you see it??
I look forward to seeing you soon-but-not-too-soon right? 
Gute Nacht.
Buonanotte.
And good night! 
I love you baby girl! Keep having fun! XoXOxoxO <3
Love always, 
Kiersty Bug
Post script: Just curious, do you wake up early to get in all adventures you can or do you pleasure yourself with luxury and sleep in? Just curious. Good night (or good morning for you!) for realsies! Love you!

**I paraphrased, of course, some thing are better left between the people actually in the conversation, sorry! But you got the best bits, I'm sure.