What Changed?

You know what isn't fair? (Within a potpourri of many things)
For one day someone gives me a scrap of attention, one day, and it seems to upset you. There you are daring to act hurt and different and here I am daring to believe it's about me.
But how can it be?
I'm just me.
I listen. I watch. I wait.
You,
you just neglect me and expect I'll come picking up the pieces when it's over and I'm left broken and you upset.
Upset.
Do you think I like any of them when I have you in the room?
I know I'm shy around you, but I'm honestly working so hard on that it's ridiculous.
Sometimes I stop myself in my trying and I think I do not need to, if you really wanted me you would try. Right? That's what people do when they realize they want something. But not me.
I wait.
I watch to make sure you're the one I want.
I listen to your heartbeat and decide if it is going to hurt me or hold me.
Perhaps that is why you're so confused.
I'm crazy.
I know that.
But what I don't know is why you acted different when you usually act like you don't care. What changed? How are you somehow different now? Tell me I'm not crazy!
I'm so crazy about you I can't even drink orange juice the same.
I can't sleep well.
The music sounds different.
What changed?
When did this subtle shift take place within my heart?
I've changed j.d., and I know you're the reason why.
When did my heart decide this? Where was I when it voted without me?
Does anyone have a say in their heart?
What changed?
Where do turn to figure this out?
Why do I even try? Why do I care so much?
Why?
Why?
-k.p.b.