Suburbs

Sometimes I catch myself walking through the avenues 

of my heart and surprise myself to find you are on every single sign.

Every street name is a part of you, a song, a memory, 

a something.

I think for a moment.
My teeth chew lightly on my lip 
as they always have.

I never knew so many nothings

could be so many somethings to me. 

Then I remember.

You set me on fire.

Peeling back the layers,

undressing the logic within me, 

I willingly let you waltz into my heart and steal it entirely.

I guess I never knew loving you-- 

wishing all these nothings could go on forever--

could mean so much to me. 

But I'm losing it!
Why do you mean so much to me?

I can't explain a thing about it. 

But I know someday I will. 

One day when the moon is brighter

and the nights are warmer

and perhaps you are there

I will tell you everything.

Every word of it. 

Every kiss. 

Every touch. 

Every sleepless night dreaming about you, 

it will all be revealed.

I love you. 

I don't want to, and I hate that I can't stand loving you, but I think it's because I know we're not good for each other. 

We're trapped in a daydream we can't escape from. 
The avenues;
the subways;
the bridges;
the wakeless suburbs of each other wind like
rivers and labyrinths within my silly heart,
going on forever. 

-k.p.b.
2/17/16