hold me, please
let me press your photograph against my heart
and remember how much you love me too.
There are endless moments captured in a photograph,
a snap shot,
a painting of life,
a moment forever remembered;
"where our eyes are never closing
hearts are never broken"
always the same.
Always wholly untouched.
please don't leave me alone.
I need you, Rachie.
I need you so much.
You make me a person I wish I was without you here.
My teeth sink into my lips firmly,
biting back tears I promised I would not shed for you.
Not now.
But it hurts.
So much.
I need you more than I need whatever drives me everyday
because you are what makes me happy.
You are what reminds me what life is meant living for.
These days I try hard not to think about the day I'll have to say goodbye.
My mind pushes hard against drowning all alone in your big bed, hugging your pillows and searching the room for a sign that you are here
and not so far away.
We will always be beating hearts in the same rhythm,
but that doesn't make it any easier or harder to be without you.
I'm going to weep a lot these days,
I just know it.
But,
it's okay.
You are my better half, Ray.
You are my rasion d'etre.
I am useless without you.
But I know you wouldn't want me to feel this way.
I promise I will be strong.
And I never break a sister's promise.
But promise me something, please.
Keep me inside your pocket always,
remember me when you are far away under different stars than I am.
Hold me
when it gets hard.
Try to remember we will see each other soon enough.
I'll never let you go, Rach.
I'll wait for you everyday,
pray for you
and try to ignore the loud heartbeat that used to be so close to yours,
trapped close together in a warm room nearly nineteen years ago,
nine months sculpting a lifetime of love for each other,
reminding me of our distance for now.
I love you my dear, dear Rachel.
That is why I know it hurts so much.
Because I need you.
-kiersty bug
March 1, 2016 Tuesday
11:56AM
Thinking about you, twin sister.
Always missing you.
"Photograph" by: Ed Sheeran -- My song for missing you, first realized while riding in the car with you on a Sunday afternoon on our way home from Josh's house. It reminds me that I need you and I always will. Every picture of us is a moment we'll never take back, a moment we'll have forever. I'm happy beyond belief you of all people are my twin. Truly, you make me a better person than I could ever be without you. Truly.
