You know what's funny?
There's this strange sensation I've only tasted a few lucky moments of my life and no matter what I do I can't seem to get enough of it.
It sounds a little weird, especially as it rolls so smoothly, so effortlessly off of my tongue, but it's the small moment I get when we hug goodbye and as I'm shorter than most people, and you taller than many, I turn my head (so as not to bury my nose into your sternum) and you pull me tightly in, encasing every ounce of me, and as I turn, my tiny ear buries itself in the endless nook of your sturdy chest--the place between your broad shoulder-blades, leading precisely where your heart is--and I listen.
I do more than that.
I push my ear softly and feel your heart beating, loudly, so loudly, and I can't help wondering how no one else has the satisfaction of hearing it, of falling passionately wild over the quintessential beauty that rhythm of organ brings me.
I can feel it pulsing through my ear, rushing through the canals of my blood straight to my own racing heartbeat--creating wild ideas about us, making me as alive as a falling star about to meet a supernova and then, just as swiftly as a tear is wiped away, it's gone.
And I wait for the next time we say goodbye, only for your strange rhythm to allay my senses, to awaken me once more and remind me why saying goodbye can be so beautiful.
And I'll have you know, if I were a little more brave, I'd whisper to you the truth about your heartbeat. I would gather myself close to your ear, breathe in the ravishing smell that has become you, and I'd tell you it's the most beautiful I've ever had the accidental pleasure to feel inside me.
I would say, quietly close to you, my heart racing as I draw nearer, "If I could have but one heart, and I've heard thousands of heartbeats in my small lifetime, to listen to all my life--it would be yours, and yours alone."
-k.p.b.
January 17, 2015
Sunday 10:01PM
"Pavane pour une infante défunte" by: Maurice Ravel
(it almost perfectly encapsulates the sensation of hearing a beautiful heartbeat)
