She walks in Starlight

Sometimes I sing to the stars when I think that they are listening. I sing to them as if to question if they hear me, if they care or if they delight by the sound of my voice. I hope it does; it would feel exquisite to give back to them when they've given me more than anything else on earth. And even though I've come to them with tears socked inside my sweater and with broken spirits--and at times elated smiles--they always seem to be there. They always care. I go to them when I am happy, scared, confused, lonely, elegiac, passionate, content. I love my friends, the Stars. But, sometimes I wish they would just flicker off. I wish like a candle their light would sputter into darkness and leave me in heavy silence where I could be at peace and left alone without my pestering thoughts. For once, I just want to be alone amidst the great expanse of emptiness. After all, sometimes feeling nothing at all is better than ripping off the scabs yourself and watching the blood gush until your eyes cringe tiressly. Then again is it not the pain after all is said and done that we remember most? It is the hurt within our yellow memories that is hidden in the core of our nostalgia and may very well be the whole existence if it. That is what really haunts us. Pain. So flicker yellow stars. Leave me be and let me feel momentarily empty for a while. All I need is peace. Tangible, empty, forgettable peace. 

10:46PM Weds. February 18 2015 (A painful, humane day)